Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011)

★★★★☆

Loosely based off of a book of the same name, the story follows Captain Jack Sparrow (again) who somehow got swindled into becoming a crewmember aboard the Queen Anne’s Revenge, the ship of the notorious Blackbeard. Meanwhile, Barbossa has become an Admiral working for the King of England sent out to find and kill Blackbeard. What he doesn’t realize is that both Sparrow, Blackbeard, Blackbeard’s daughter and the Spanish, are all trying to locate the famed Fountain of Youth. Though this film doesn’t have the great cinematography and darkness that Verbinski gave the Pirates movie, it was still a great action film that explored greater realms of Pirate mythology. Headlined by McShane’s Blackbeard, this installment is probably better than the 3^rd installment but I would have loved to see what Verbinski would have added to the table.

Vertigo (1958)

★★★★1/2

When a San Francisco detective, suffering from acrophobia, is asked my one of his friends to follow and investigate his wife’s activities, he soon becomes obsessively in love with her. The basis of his friend’s accusations is that he believes that she is becoming somebody that she isn’t but as things unfold, detective Ferguson realizes that there is a more sinister plot at hand. Cited as being one of Hitchcock’s best films, I don’t believe it’s his best but certainly one of his greatest achievements in suspense and brilliance. It’s a very complex and thoughtful story the blends mystery with forbidden passion. Wonderful special effects seem to be a byproduct of this film. For me, it’s Jimmy Stewart’s performance that won me over, especially his chilling turn of character at the end.

Eraser (1996)

★★★☆☆

John Kruger is one of the best witness protection agents of his company but when a young woman breaks into his company’s labs, he soon realizes that they are developing a high-tech weapon. He soon realizes that she is telling the truth and they are both on list of people to be “erased.” As a simple plotted, gun-a-blazing, suspenseful action movie it works… and that’s all it really is. It may not be one of Schwarzenegger’s best movies but it’s pretty entertaining with some great stunts. It’s nice to see James Caan fight off Arnold any day of the week.

Pleasantville (1998)

★★★★1/2

When a brother and sister from the 90’s are zapped into a 1950’s sitcom by a mysterious remote, they soon find themselves struggling to adapt to the 50’s ideology and morals. It doesn’t take long before the sister, Jennifer, disobeys her brother, David, and brings 90’s culture to this complacent black and white world. Before long, the citizens of Pleasantville begin seeing things in a while new color and this angers those who want to keep their strict morals and later leads to Pleasantville becoming not so pleasant. At its heart, this is a truly magical film that explores people’s fear and how we’ll do anything to preserve our innocents. Great special effects and wonderful art direction highlight this film as being something other than a “fish out of the water” story. It has heart, humor and morals.

L.A. Confidential (1997)

★★★★★

Set in the 50’s, when a ruthless and violent shooting at the Nite Owl Diner is investigated, by the book police officer Edmund Exley seeks out the vigilantes responsible for all the murders. Meanwhile, brute thug Detective Wendell White believes that the shootings trail back to a wealthy brothel owner who makes prostitutes look like movie stars. However, Jack Vincennes, who became the chief advisor for an L.A. cop TV Show, believes that the shootings originated at the L.A. County Governor’s office. What these three don’t realize is that the shootings go much deeper than any of them suspected. Brilliant performances, a tight and suspenseful script and gorgeous cinematography highlight this film as one of the best modern day noir pieces I’ve seen.

Airplane II: The Sequel (1982)

★★★☆☆

When an A.I. computer guidance system aboard a space shuttle becomes self-aware and reroutes the course towards the sun, Ted Striker is called back once again to save the shuttle and all the passengers aboard it. With very little time and the ground units puzzled, Ted must find a way to destroy the A.I. system, remap a new course to the moon and win the love of his life Elaine Dickinson. As a sequel, this installment isn’t bad and has some fresh gags but ultimately it references the first one way too many times. Jokes are reused and “remade” and ends up being a parody of itself. It’s nice to see a new cast of characters but I just wish that it didn’t ride Airplane’s coattails.

Rear Window (1954)

★★★★★

After an accident has left him in a wheelchair, Photographer Jeff Jeffries finds entertainment by spying on his neighbors from his apartment window. However, after harmlessly peeping into a mild case of spousal abuse, Jeffries soon becomes convinced that the husband has murdered his wife. Unable to leave his apartment and without any evidence, Jeffries must now prove that the murder happened… or is he developing a case of cabin fever? While the film, at its core, is quite boring, Hitchcock uses voyeurism to create sharp suspense. The audience, like Jeffries, is confined to that one apartment and we aren’t able to see what truly is happening. With great performances by Jimmy Stewart and Grace Kelly, this is a fine case of pure suspense.

A.I. Artificial Intelligence (2001)

★★★★1/2

In the future, a family, grieving after their son’s near-fatal illness, decides to “adopt” a young robotic boy who has been programmed to feel love by means of artificial intelligence. However, when the family’s son is cured, the robotic boy is abandoned in a forest by the mom and begins a journey to find the “blue fairy” (from which he heard from the Pinocchio story) that can grant him the wish of becoming a real boy so that his mother could love him. This haunting, beautifully directed film is sad, heartbreaking and compelling. It raises several questions about what love is and if it’s possible for machines to love and vise versa. It’s a heart-wrenching story of trying to become ‘real’ and it’s told through the eyes of a child. It’s creepy because we begin to believe that this boy is real. Haley Joel Osment is phenomenal but I hated the ending because it didn’t bring the closure I wanted.

Chinatown (1974)

★★★★★

Set in 1930’s Los Angeles, a private detective begins investigating an adultery case he soon realizes that the man who may be having an affair is a key member in the water company. Upon his sudden and suspicious death, the investigator is drawn into a series of lies, hidden agendas, murder and framing that lead him to believe that somebody had him killed so that he doesn’t tell the police about where the water of Los Angeles is really going. Brilliantly directed by Roman Polanski, beautifully shot and carefully tuned; this film was a great tribute to the old crime noir flicks of the 30’s and 40’s. Jack Nicholson, Faye Dunaway and John Huston give outstanding performances, which only add to the film’s charm and glory. Don’t even get me stared about the score.

Cliffhanger (1993)

★★★★☆

After a fatal rescue mission high above the Rocky Mountains, Gabe Walker is called back to the mountain rescue force when he is sent to rescue survivors of a downed airplane. Little do he and his bitter friend realize that the survivors are a group of violent thieves that crash-landed there after a mid-air height went wrong. Now, with three suitcases full of money spread out over the mountainous region, Gabe and his partner are forcefully tasked with finding the money despite the dangerous terrain. This is another great example of a fine action movie that not only leaves me with a sense of anticipation but also preserves and showcases the natural beauty of that region. Great action, a less-indestructible Stallone and a chilling performance by John Lithgow make this a must-see for any action fanatic.

The Terror Within (1989)

★★1/2

Set in a post-apocalyptic world destroyed by an unknown chemical accident, a group of underground military survivors take in a woman who appears to be alive despite living above the ground. Things turn from bright to dark when her mutant baby kills her and escapes to somewhere in the compound. With the mutant growing at a fast rate, the crew must find a way to stop it before it gets hungry with its eyes set on the crewmembers. Produced by Mr. Schlock Roger Corman, this flick is bad but not in all cases. The creature design is great and it has that distinct midnight movie feel as you watch it. It may be bad but it’s the good type of bad and by the end of it you can’t help but say, “they really don’t make them like they use to.”

True Lies (1994)

★★★1/2

Harry Tasker has been living a secret life as a government agent and assassin for years hidden from his wife Helen. However, when Harry discovers that she might be having an affair he calls on his intelligence resources to find out who this other man is but when he assigns her a phony mission things spin out of control. A militant terrorist kidnaps his wife and a couple of nuclear warheads and threatens to bomb Miami if his demands aren’t met. Harry must find a way to break the news to his wife and save the city of Miami before it becomes a smoking crater. This is the definition of an action flick: great action, a protagonist that’s funny and indestructible, a compelling side story and plenty of humor. Jamie Lee Curtis reprises her role as the ‘scream queen’ many times and the film becomes a true relic of action cinema.

The Slumber Party Massacre (1982)

★★1/2

When her parents leave her home alone, an high school girl invites her friends over to her home to have a “girl’s night” slumber party. However, an uninvited guest arrives fresh from the insane asylum and equipped with a huge power drill to maim and kill the girls. With the night getting darker and darker, the girls must find a way to stop the killer before the slumber party turns into a bloodbath. Apparently this was supposed to be a spoof on slashers but it ends up being this cheesy yet bland slasher flick. Shockingly, I found its blandness and cold-hearted nature to be enjoyable and ends up being a self-parody straight from the 80’s slasher genre.

Quantum of Solace (2008)

★★★☆☆

Picking up directly after Casino Royal, James Bond seeks revenge for the death of his love, which leads him to investigate a environmental corporation. However, upon confronting the corporation’s CEO Bond and M realize that it’s only a front for an even bigger network of high-profile terrorists. Now Bond must find a way to stop the CEO from taking control of a third world country’s water supply. Though this isn’t as suspenseful as Casino Royal, it’s still a great action flick with some amazing chase and fight sequences. Bond seems darker and more determined and Craig does a great job as always. The only gripe is that I wish we got to see more of Quantum since it’s in the movie’s title. Otherwise, it’s great eye candy action.

Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997)

★★★★☆

Austin Powers, 60’s swinger and secret agent who was cryogenically frozen in the 60’s, is awakened in the 90’s to fight his sworn enemy Dr. Evil. However, in addition to trying to stop Dr. Evil, Austin must realize that it’s no longer the 60’s and times/attitudes have changed from what he knew. Now, like a fish out of water, he must learn to fit in if he wants to stop Dr. Evil. This brilliant and hysterical parody of the James Blond flicks is a winner. Austin is absolutely clueless about his new surroundings (as well as Dr. Evil who was also frozen in the 60’s) and that’s why it’s so funny. Meyers created a lovable goofball who we can point and laugh wit.

Song of the South (1946)

★★★1/2

After his family moves in with his grandmother down south and the leaving of his father, a young boy named Johnny finds happiness from an old but kind storyteller named Uncle Remus. Uncle Remus, knowing that the boy loves stories, regales him of the stories of Br’er Rabbit and Br’er Fox. These stories teach the boy moral lessons and the true essence of happiness. Although it’s very politically incorrect and shows the ideal perfect relationship between slaves and slaveowners, it’s still a very warm and lighthearted story for children. I enjoyed it, I laughed at it and I loved the animation. As the old saying goes, ignorance is bliss especially whenit comes to kids.

African Cats (2011)

★★★★1/2

This Disney nature documentary follows two different cat families. On one side of the river is a single mother Cheetah trying to raise her cubs alone and protecting them from vicious hyenas. On the other side of the river is a small, but closely-knit lion pride who have to fend themselves off from a another lion (and his three sons) who wants to take over their group. This is one of the best nature documentaries I’ve ever seen because it has a story that was written and performed by nature and shows the brutal reality that is nature. It’s painfully sad, beautifully happy and very compelling. Mixed with great narration by Samuel L. Jackson and stunning camera work, this is a film that should be seen. It really puts “the Circle of Life” in perspective.

Pandorum (2009)

★★★1/2

A pair of spaceship crewmembers wake up from hyper sleep with no memories of their mission or identities, they soon realize that the entire ship is nearly desolate. After running into one survivor, it’s clear that an indigent race of aliens have taken over the ship and that the previous captain had a psychological breakdown that ended in total slaughter. Now, with no plan of action, a killer race of aliens on the loose and Pandorum seeping into their minds… they must find a way to save themselves from destruction. Although I initially hated this movie, it is slowly growing on me and it’s really a breath of fresh air. It’s rare to find a good space horror flick with decent acting and this film does a great job of both. Great practical effects and amazing action sequences make this a fun thrill ride to watch.

Hoodwinked Too! (2011)

★★☆☆☆

While at a secret training facility Red Riding Hood is called back in action and paired with her ex-partner Wolf when Hansel and Gretel are mysteriously taken by a wtich for some diabolical purpose. Red and Wolf aren’t the best of friends anymore but they must set their differences aside if they want to rescue the children. However, the witch has an even sinister plan that includes Red’s Granny. But things aren’t what they appear and there’s a greater conspiracy at work. Unlike the first movie, this film lost it’s charm and originality and became a silly yet barely enjoyable ode to James Bond. The first film was a different spin on the Red Riding Hood tale that blended humor with crime noir. This movie felt too cheesy.

The People Under the Stairs (1991)

★★★☆☆

When his mom is in need of medical attention, a young boy agrees to help his father and his father’s friend to break into their landlord’s home to steal some gold. However, upon breaking into their house he soon realizes that the ‘mother’ and ‘father’ of the house are crazed psychopaths who kidnapped children and forced them to live in their basement. Now, he must team up with the parent’s daughter in order to escape from the landlords who want to brutally kill each of them. As ridiculous and over-the-top the film is, it’s pretty entertaining with some pretty fun and humorous moments. I personally love these types of horror flicks that deal with urban decay.

The Lost Boys (1987)

★★★★☆

After moving to a new beachfront town, Michael quickly begins to fall for a young girl named Lucy. However, after meeting her “gang” and drinking a mysterious drink he begins to cringe at the light, have incredible strength and craves blood. Soon he realizes that he’s been initiated into a gang of vampires. Now, he and a two vampire-hunting brothers must find a way to turn him back before they have and Lucy for their next meal. With a stunning, synth-Goth score and a memorable performance by Kiefer Sutherland, this tale of bloodsucking vamps really exemplifies what the 80’s where about. The makeup is amazing and the humor is great. It’s what Return of the Living Dead was to the zombie genre.

Mulholland Falls (1996)

★★★1/2

Set in 1950’s Los Angeles, this neo noir crime drama follows Max Hoover and his special squad of LADP investigators that use “special” interrogational strategies. The team is sent to investigate the murder of a young woman who Max had an affair with on the side. As bad memories resurface, the investigation leads Max and his right hand man Elleroy to a world renowned General and scientist who helped with the A-bomb project. Max soon finds himself right in the middle of a conspiracy and secret cover-up of possible mistreatment of U.S. soldiers. This was a great film with a great yet raspy performance by Nick Nolte and Chazz Palminteri does a great job as well. Ultimately, it’s great but I wished they really expanded more on the rest of Nolte’s group since they all seem to show charisma that isn’t fully developed.

Life of Brian (1979)

★★★★☆

Brian was born on Christmas in the stable next door to the Almighty Christ and lives his entire life as an average momma’s boy. However, after joining a group that plots to rebel against the Romans and bizarre series of events, he is ultimately mistaken for the messiah. With a disappointing mother, hoards of one-track minded followers and the entire Roman army after him, what can Brian do to convince people that he isn’t the messiah let alone the fact that there is no true messiah? This film caters to a specific type of person that can understand Monty Python’s humor and I, fortunately, am one of them so this was a riot to watch. However, if you are new to The Python, some of the jokes may seem awkward or fall flat but this piece’s strength comes from its satirical jab at religion and how people blindly follow it. It’s raunchy, it’s over-the-top and it’s funny as Hell!

Carnival of Souls (1998)

★★1/2

Half experimental and half linear; this movie follows a young bartender who is still struggling with inner demons after seeing the brutal rape and murder of her mother by a circus performer. When the nightmares of the fateful night that she met him begin to resurface, so does the carnival and when the carnival comes back to town… so does her mother’s murderer. Now, caught in a web of dreams and hallucinations, the young girl must struggle to find peace and decipher what’s real and what isn’t. The story sounds great on paper but it is in fact a remake of a better film of the same name. This film has great production design and 1 or 2 creepy moments but it falls flat and becomes stale. I think it’s main problem is the lack of solid direction and a clear story.

The Jackal (1997)

★★★1/2

The FBI gets word that a notorious assassin named The Jackal, who is known for literally changing his appearance, has been hired by a terrorist group to assassinate somebody from the U.S. government. In a last minute effort to find him, they agree to release an IRA sniper from imprisonment to track him down. However, once The Jackal realizes that he has a tail, the situation spirals into a deadly game of cat and mouse. For an action movie it has its charms and it’s great to see Willis in disguises ranging from a fat Jewish accountant to a gay businessman. Richard Gere puts on a wonderful Irish accent but what I think this film lacks is solid suspense, but even without it there are great gunfights.

Sunset Boulevard (1950)

★★★★★

When hi scar breaks down in an unknown area of Sunset Blvd., a screenwriter stumbles upon the home of a former silent movie star and agrees to stay with her and help her develop a screenplay for her big comeback. Unfortunately, he soon becomes a prisoner and the actress’s severely depressed personality begins to surface as the screenwriter tries desperately to help her realize the reality of things. This disturbing, neurotic piece shimmers with the brilliant performances of William Holden and Gloria Swanson, who fully becomes the deranged and psychotic film star Norma Desmond. It’s a dark tale of what Hollywood can do to somebody and just how far somebody will go for that glitz and glamour. It’s a true masterpiece.

Planet 51 (2009)

★★★☆☆

Set on the fictional Planet 51 in 1950’s style suburbia, an American astronaut named Captain Chuck Baker lands his shuttle on the world thinking that he is the first one to discover and set foot on it. To his surprise, he realizes that there is an entire civilization living there. Now, wanted by their government, Chuck befriends a socially awkward alien and his energetic brother as they find a way to send him back home before the military decides to dissect him. I liked this movie and for a film that isn’t made my Disney/Pixar, it’s whimsical, funny and somewhat exciting. I love the mockery towards 50’s pop culture and the nods to great sci-fi flicks of the 50’s and 60’s. For a kids movie it’s pretty great but it lacks heart and warmth.